Terrified. That's about the only way to describe what I'm currently feeling. Our landlord has agreed to let us out of the lease assuming he can find someone to rent it. He has refused to let us out before that happens and doesn't believe he has done anything "wrong". He emailed us last night and is showing our place at 12pm today. I'm terrified. Al I want is OUT! We are praying desperately that whoever is coming to look at it will agree to rent it immediately and we'll be done and free.
But I'm scared and worried. I'm scared no one will want it, that we'll continue to be 'trapped' in an apartment with a horrendous landlord and dangerous neighborhood. I'm trying to trust that God is going to 'take care of it', but that's so hard to see right now. Why didn't God take care of it before? Why has this even happened? I keep asking God, crying out, 'We've done everything You asked! We gave up everything to move here! We left our home, our friends, our church, our LIVES to follow what we believe You've called us to and THIS is what happens!' I beg God to answer, to say something, but nothing seems to come. Not even 'trust me'. Where is He?!?
Classes start in a few days, and I feel more alone than I have in a long time. God, where have You gone? Please, we need Your help...
We love you and are praying for you. He is there, may not feel like it but I understand after moving to Missouri and being pregnant away from the home I knew and family. It was a difficult time and when we had Zach and he had problems, I felt like saying where is God in this. He came through just not in my time. Look at that wonderful man you married now. Keep your head up. Love ya,
ReplyDelete